Forgiving You and I
by aigafyuin
Summary: It had been 36 days since Clarke left camp Jaha. She was alone, sad, hurt. She didn't wanted to be around anyone. This was until, she found Lexa, injured. Set after 2X16, Clexa.
1. Meeting You Again

**Forgiving You and I**

**Chapter I  
**

It had been 36 days since Clarke left Camp Jaha. She was staying in a bunker in order to rest. After all, all she had done so far was walk. Walk away from the pain. Or at least, that was her aim. She stayed most of the days locked in the small fortification. She would stay all day lying in a tiny bed thinking. Just thinking of what she could have done different. She wanted to draw, but every time she took a pen into her hands, she would remember herself pushing the lever. Her face didn't show any feelings. Not a single one. Her eyes were harsh. The lights that were usually so alive in her blue eyes weren't there anymore. There was only pain in it.

_Pain…_

How many times she felt it since she touched the ground? Too many times. She felt weak. She would barely eat the rations she found on the underground shelter. Since she landed on Earth everything became worst. First she met Finn.

_Finn…_

She tasted love. And had to kill him so he wouldn't have been tortured. Like she had to kill the mountain men, so they wouldn't kill her people. Maybe she wouldn't have killed all of those innocent persons if Lexa hadn't left her.

_Lexa…_

Clarke was mad at Lexa. Mad she left her people to die. Mad she took the deal. Mad she left _her_. She couldn't understand why she was so angry with this, why she wasn't able to hate her. The blonde wasn't able to cry. Her tears wouldn't fall down.

After a long time of thinking the sky girl decided to do something today. She stood up from her bed and almost fell because of the lack of strength in her legs. Her head was heavy but she wanted to go outside. To feel the sun on her face, to breath surrounded by trees. The young girl hadn't been outside for four days. Clarke opened the metallic door and stepped out of the bunker and closed her eyes. She took a big inspiration and sank into the forest. The sky was blue, not a single cloud was in it. The sensation of the sun on Clarke's face was the best. As she was walking, her gun was in one of her hands and a dagger was in the other.

Suddenly, the girl stepped in battlefield. Lots of grounders lying on the field. Dead. There was a lot of blood. It was like a butchery. Clarke freaked out when a hand grasped her ankle. She screamed and pointed her weapon to the warrior's head.

"What happened?" Clarke asked worried.

"Save our Heda," The warrior said with hardness. Clarke could see he was in pain just breathing. "Beja!"

Clarke knelled down next to the grounder and watched where he was wounded.

"Lexa is here? Where?" She started undoing his armor to treat his injury. The man's hand stopped what the blonde was doing.

"Ai gonplei ste odon." He said firmly. "Save Heda, please."

"I can save you, I'll go save the commander after." Clarke was worried about Lexa, but saving a life would make her feel better. She unzipped his jacket and saw three bullet holes in his chest. "It's a miracle you're still alive."

"You are losing time sky commander, the Commander is hiding in a cave across those trees." He pointed some trees before looking back to the blonde. "Sky girl, give me a good death. Please."

Clarke hesitated before closing the warrior's eyes. She took her dagger and put it closer to his neck before she pushed it into. The grounder died without pain and Clarke sighed before standing and running towards the cave. The blonde entered in the cavern and stopped when she saw Lexa lying in the ground.

"Lexa!" Clarke shouted before taking the commander's head into her hands. "Lexa!" She repeated before she noticed fresh blood on the brunette's waist. She raised the girl's shirt and sighed again. "It's not deep, but you lost a lot of blood so you need to wake up." Clarke pressed the wound in order to stop the blood running. When she pressed, Lexa groaned and opened her eyes, wondering what was happening.

"Cl-Clarke?" She asked with agony in her voice.

"Lexa! I need to get you somewhere I can treat you."

"Why are you helping me?" The commander asked, surprised the blonde was helping her.

"I don't know either." Clarke answered coldly.

"You are far away from your camp." Lexa stated, gazing the blonde.

"We'll talk later, now get up." The sky princess ordered. Lexa had no strength to fight Clarke's words back so she did what the girl said and stood up with hardness. Clarke kneeled waiting for the brunette to get on her back. "I'm waiting." She said ruthlessly.

"I will not get on your back, Clarke."

"You barely can stand, you want to walk on your own?" Clarke asked wryly.

Lexa didn't responded Clarke and got up on the girl's back as the blonde ordered. She hadn't strength to argue with Clarke. Not yet.

After some minutes walking towards the fortification Clarke helped Lexa entering in it.

"Lay." Clarke ordered as Lexa did.

The sky princess took off Lexa's heavy armor and raised the grey shirt tinted with blood. Clarke took the first cloth she could find and anchored it before applying it around the wound in order to clean the blood. Lexa retained herself from moaning while Clarke started stitching the injury.

After the blonde had treated Lexa's injuries the best she could she helped the brunette lay down in a bed and got up.

"I'm going to see if there are any others survivors, rest, I'll be back soon." The sky princess said before a hand reached hers.

"It's dangerous out there." The brunette said, thinking about who attacked her army and almost killed her.

"I know." Clarke said coldly before leaving. Leaving Lexa alone in her thoughts.

* * *

Beja: Please;

Heda: Commander;

Ai gonplei ste odon: My fight is over.


	2. Compassion Not Forgiveness

**Part 2**

Clarke had difficulties finding the way towards the battlefield again. The first time she went she was wandering and not taking care of where she was heading. She tried to remember what trees she passed by but couldn't recall. Suddenly she heard a noise behind her. Quickly she turned, pointing her gun at the noise. Clarke rolled her eyes seeing who was standing in front of her.

"I told you to rest." She said, irritated.

"I know." Lexa began. She was standing, supporting herself in her right leg. "I can bring you where the massacre occurred." She added. After all, the commander knew the woods better than anyone else.

"Fine." Clarke said coldly before walking next to the grounder.

"How did you escaped?" Lexa asked, her voice sounded soft. She was looking at Clarke, who was avoiding her gaze.

"I said you could show me the way. Not that you could talk to me." Clarke returned harshly. Lexa nodded, the blonde didn't notice and they continued walking.

After some minutes, they arrived to the battlefield. Clarke turned to see how the brunette was facing it. Worried it was hard. As it was hard when she crossed the room, full of innocent and guilty Mountain Men. Clarke felt sorry for Lexa and wondered if it would be okay to support her. She took Lexa's hand, avoiding the painful look Lexa sent her at the gesture. They moved their feet with caution, trying not to step on the bodies covering the ground. Clarke, seeing how the commander was walking with difficulty, pulled the arm's hand she was holding over her shoulder. Lexa didn't say a word, even if she wanted to, she didn't know what to say. And more importantly, she hadn't Clarke's approbation.

"Maybe some survivors are in the cave I found you in." Clarke suggested.

"Maybe."

Clarke and Lexa headed towards the cavern and entered it. They found no one. The brunette sighed before sitting down against a wall. The sky girl observed the grounder before sitting beside her. None of them said a word. Lexa had a harsh look on her face, her eyes weren't looking at something exactly, but it was just so she wouldn't face the blonde. She kept trying to remember how she ended alone in this cave and who attacked them. But nothing came, she didn't remember anything that happened.

"Where were you going?" The blonde asked breaking the silence. _So I cannot talk but you can _Lexa thought before locking the girl's gaze.

"Vir," She answered simply. She could observe how Clarke was looking at her. Her eyes were cold but also showed sign of compassion. Lexa wanted to apologize but knew that would mean bringing again the harsh face and she didn't needed the blonde avoiding talking to her once again. Lexa was already quite uncomfortable about the situation. Alone. With Clarke. She could feel something happened inside that mountain. She was blaming herself for leaving her. Something broke inside both of them this day.

"How far is it from Ton DC?" Clarke asked.

"By horse, four or five moons." The brunette answered, "Are you planning on going in Ton DC?"

Clarke didn't answered, she hadn't any answer after all. She didn't knew what exactly she wanted to do. Lexa lowered her head and sighed. She looked at her feet before standing up. Clarke's eyes followed the brunette before doing the same.

"Soon night will be." Lexa stated, before heading back to the killing. She stopped when she was in front with a dead body. Clarke stared at the commander's back before walking towards her and putting a hand on her shoulder.

"Let's go back to the bunker." The blonde just said before walking slowly with Lexa. "Are you feeling better?"

"Yes, thanks to you."

A small smile appeared on the blonde's lips. Lexa looked surprised, it was the first time she had seen Clarke smile since Mount Weather.

"What? Do I have something on my nose?" Clarke chuckled as she asked the question. Lexa just nodded 'no' and her eyes went softer.

When Clarke and Lexa arrived at the underground shelter night had already settled. Clarke searched for the rations she found in it some days before and handed dry biscuits to the grounder. Lexa nodded and ate the food. She didn't say a thing although she thought it was disgusting.

"There," The blonde handed her clean clothes. "You can use it as pajamas." Lexa unfolded the clothes that appeared to be twice her size. She went to the bathroom and changed herself, when she came back to the main room she saw two mattresses on the ground. "It's all they've got." Clarke said referring to the previous owners of the bunker. Lexa nodded, she was exhausted, and all she wanted right now was to sleep. She stopped thinking about her duties for the night and went beneath the duvets.

"Good night, Clarke of the sky people." She said before closing her eyes. Clarke felt her heart warm up at the commander's words. It felt like it had been an eternity since Lexa called her that way.

"Night," The blonde said before turning the lights off and getting on her own bed.


	3. Support And Slow Reconciliation

**Part 3**

"Clarke," She whispered. "Clarke." She said, louder this time. "Clarke!" She finally yelled. The blonde woke up suddenly when she found a preoccupied look on Lexa's face.

"What? Is there something wrong?" Clarke said breathing heavily. Her eyes were blinking incredibly fast. When she finally caught her breath she looked up to Lexa.

"You were screaming. Did you have a nightmare?" The brunette asked concerned. She was sitting on the side of her mattress, in front of the sky girl who pulled herself to a sitting position.

"Yes…" The blonde said slightly. Her eyes were full of tears, the girl was holding herself, as if she was compacted. Lexa observed the sky princess before putting her left hand on Clarke's knee. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to wake you." Clarke added.

"Do not worry Clarke. You have nothing to be ashamed of. Everybody has their own demons inside." As the brunette spoke, she tried to be as soft as possible to reassure the young girl. "In my village, when we have a bad dream, we share it with someone close to us. So we would not be alone fighting our demons." Clarke raised her head. Making their eyes' meet.

"I don't want talk about it," She said coldly. Lexa retired her hand of Clarke's knee. Feeling bad and uncomfortable again. She wanted to argue, take off the words that are blocked in her chest. She opened her mouth but Clarke spoke first. "But thank you. I appreciate." She said avoiding Lexa's gaze. The sky princess knew Lexa was doing her best to comfort her. Her lips let appear a small smile. Lexa didn't want to smile back but did. The grounder nodded and went back on her bed. Clarke did the same and fell back asleep.

* * *

Clarke woke up when her stomach was screaming for food. She stood up and stretched. Then, she turned to Lexa's mattress, which was empty. For a second, she freaked out.

"Lexa?" She said, worried.

The brunette came through the door separating the room and the living room. Clarke sighed, relieved.

"Sorry, when I woke up you were finally sleeping in peace, so I got up and stayed in the other room." Lexa explained.

"It's fine, thank you." She stretched her back letting her stomach appear. "Are you hungry?" Lexa laid her eyes on the blonde's abdomen before nodding. They headed out of the room and Clarke took another dry biscuits. She handed them to Lexa, who took them despite the fact they were disgusting. "I'll go collect some berries later." Lexa nodded and continued taking bites of the biscuits. "You're not really a morning talker are you?" Clarke said chuckling.

"…No," The grounder answered.

After they ate, they went to make their beds. Clarke took advantage of the fact their beds were made to look at Lexa's wound. Lexa laid on her back and Clarke raised the girl's shirt. She quickly changed the bandages putting clean gauzes instead of the used ones. The awkwardness that was floating in the air was not really pleasant. The sky girl then looked at the commander's left leg. The wound wasn't deeper, but it prevented her from running or walking for too long.

"Statement doctor?" Lexa said, joking.

"Did you just make a joke?" Clarke said, grinning. Lexa nodded and pushed herself to a sitting position. "Well, you're healing. Faster than what I thought. But, that doesn't mean you can go to Vir. You still need to rest."

Lexa sighed. "Will I be able to go to the battlefield? In case someone shows." This time Clarke was the one who nodded.

"Yes, but first, you should take a bath."

"Are you saying I smell?"

"No! Not at all, it's just to… You know, clean yourself…" Clarke said, blushing. Lexa laughed at the blonde's reaction and asked Clarke where the bathroom was. The sky girl decided it was time to show the bunker to the commander. First, they started from the entrance of the underground shelter. There was a scale, which touched down the living room. In the living room, there was a small kitchen, with three cupboards. There was a microwave, which none of them knew how to use. On the right of the living room, there was the room. Where Clarke and Lexa passed the night. The room had a door, which led to a small bathroom. On the left of the living room, there was a tiny room with a desk in it. Books surrounded the desk.

"Do you know how to read?" Clarke asked, curious.

"I have learned many moons ago." Lexa replied, fascinated by all the books, she couldn't take off her eyes of them. The blonde observed the reaction of the grounder and found herself smiling at her.

"You can read them if you want to." As Clarke talked, Lexa was already looking into them. "Since you're reading, I'll go bath first." Clarke headed to the bathroom, letting the office door opened.


	4. Comforting You

**Part 4**

**Happy Easter guys! Thanks again for everything, I'm sorry I didn't uploaded sooner, I had a hard time to write it. Tell me what you guys think ****. **

"Clarke, what does bo-" Lexa started, entering in the room. She stepped back when she saw a blonde half-naked in front of her. The brunette blushed instantly whilst the sky commander covered her breast with her arms. "Sorr-" The grounder started apologizing when she saw how Clarke's ribs were apparent. Clarke was very pale and looked extremely weak. Clarke turned quickly before putting her bra followed by the first shirt she found. "Clarke," Lexa said with an angry look at Clarke. "Have you been not feeding yourself?"

Clarke didn't responded. She kept her gaze avoiding Lexa's. Lexa stepped towards the blonde and grabbed her wrists.

"Do not dare lie to me." Lexa was angry. Her eyes were sending daggers to Clarke. "I do not know what happened with you inside that mountain, nor how you escaped, but you cannot keep everything to yourself." Lexa wasn't angry with Clarke. She was angry with herself.

"Really? You expect me to trust you? After what you did?" Clarke replied. Wrath filled her veins. She closed her fists before freeing herself from Lexa's hands. _"You___left _me_." Clarke's voice broke. "You left my people to die," Two big tears came out from her blue eyes.

"Do not make it about your people when what really bothers you is the fact I left you. Not them." Lexa returned harshly. It wasn't the first time she saw Clarke crying. She still didn't know how to react. "My duty was to protect my people. And I protected them. I cannot tell you I am sorry when it is my duty. I had to protect my people, Clarke. Just as you." As the brunette talked, she pushed Clarke against a wall. _'Karma'_ She thought, remembering when Clarke did the same when she threatened to kill Octavia.

"I got that! I got you have to think at your people first!" Clarke yelled.

"So why are you so mad at me? A second you are cold the next you are gentle. I do not understand you, Clarke." She yelled back at the blonde.

"I… I don't know how to deal with it!" Clarke shouted shrugging.

"Deal with what? My betrayal?" Lexa frowned.

"With the fact I killed innocent people!" Clarke cried out, she fell on her knees weeping silently.

"What… Do you mean?" The brunette asked softly and calmly, her expression vulnerable. She was trying to understand the meaning of Clarke's words but didn't manage to. Lexa knelled gazing at Clarke.

"I killed them." She whispered. She was sobbing too much. She couldn't say it louder. She hadn't the strength to. "I killed them all." She held her right hand and stared at it. It was that same hand that pulled the lever. "All of them." The grounder wrapped her arms around Clarke's back. Pulling her into a hug. The blonde was startled to see Lexa doing such an intimate move but allowed herself to rely on the commander. Clarke leaned and landed her head on Lexa's shoulder. The brunette's shirt was already soaked with Clarke's tears. Lexa kept wondering if she had to stop talking about Mount Weather or if she had to continue in order to relieve the girl from her pain.

"I did not want to leave you. Clarke." Lexa ran her hand through the blonde's hair. "If it would have been Lexa's decision, I would have stayed by your side. But I am the commander." Clarke softened at Lexa's words. She closed her eyes and put her arms around the brunette's neck. Lexa blushed. It had been a really long time since she had hugged someone and someone had hugged her. She felt Clarke's breath regulate itself. The blonde was calm. "Clarke?" The sky girl didn't answered. "Clarke?" Lexa repeated. "Did you really just fell asleep?" No answer. Lexa sighed and grinned. She let a laugh escape before standing with Clarke in her arms. She moaned when her injuries ached. She put the girl on her mattress and went to bath. Lexa took off with difficulty her shirt. Every time she stretched her back, her wound hurt a lot. She ran hot water before pulling herself in the warm bath. It was incredibly relaxing. It had been two or three days she hadn't bathed. It had also been a long time she hadn't bathed without someone washing her hair, her back and her feet. Being a commander was wonderful, but she didn't like the lack of intimacy.

After an awesome time enjoying the bath, Lexa pulled herself out. She must have stayed more than one hour in it. She almost fell asleep. She had time to look at all her scars. She found three big towels. She wrapped herself in one, and wrapped her long hair in another one. She wanted to change clothes. The one Clarke gave to her were too big, and she felt really embarrassed to let anyone see her in it. She suddenly remembered her confrontation with the blonde and remembered the weak half-naked body she saw. She felt her cheeks burning up before trying desperately to clear her head. It wasn't going away. The brunette opened the door leading where the sky girl was sleeping. She laid her eyes on the sleeping blonde. Her lips turned into a smile before she opened a cupboard and found a tighten blue jeans and a large red sweater she found really comfortable. After dressing up, she exited the room to let Clarke sleep once again. When she closed the door, she heard a moan and ran back into the room. Clarke was having another nightmare.

"Clarke, shh, everything is fine." Lexa whispered while she was caressing her head. She placed two fingers on the blonde's neck to check her respiration. It was fast. But her presence changed the blonde's respiration once again. And, once Clarke looked better. Lexa laid beside Clarke. The sky girl's head was resting in the crook of her neck. The commander didn't stay awake long. She knew Clarke was more than a leader to her, and it would be hard to stay far from her.


	5. Frustration and Feelings

**Part 5**

She could feel her cheeks warming. Clarke woke up when the sun was fading. She and Lexa slept almost all day. Proof they needed it. She found herself wrapped in the brunette's arms. Clarke's head was resting on the brunette's chest. It was comfortable. Lexa's legs were entwined around the blonde. It was the first time she had seen the grounder sleeping. _What a privilege_. Lexa didn't looked like a commander or a woman sleeping. Her face was so… innocent. Like if she had never seen horrors. Which, she obviously did. Clarke noticed how long Lexa's eyelashes were. Their faces were so closes. She couldn't help herself but observe the beautiful creature in front of her. Her jaw line had always been something Clarke noticed, but now she had it right in front of her, she couldn't help but analyze every inch of the grounder's face. Every time the blonde inhaled, she smelled Lexa's perfume. It was wonderful. Sweet, mysterious and it also scented the shampoo Lexa used when she took her bath. The sky girl started feeling her heart racing. Being so close to her and thinking about her _that_ way was not something Clarke used to do. The warm of the grounder's body against hers was relaxing. Clarke didn't wanted to admit it, but she knew somewhere she felt something for Lexa. Something she couldn't explain nor describe. Actually, she couldn't use words to describe her feelings. But, suddenly an idea struck her mind. Clarke took off delicately Lexa's arms that were holding her so tightly. The blonde did the same with the commander's legs and exited their room. She quickly made her way through the living room and entered into the office. She took a blank sheet and taped it against a wall. The sky girl opened a drawer, pens, and then another drawer in which she found charcoals. She took the material and rolled up her sleeves. For a second, she locked in front of the paper, a piece of charcoal in her hand. Clarke closed her eyes and her fists. She sighed and breathed heavily before looking at the sheet again. Determined she made a step closer to it and raised her hand up. She made a quick straight line. She passed her thumb on the line fading it. And made another line. Then she faded it again and did that repeatedly and ended doing it absentmindedly.

* * *

Lexa grumbled as she woke up at an empty bed. She found herself hugging closely the duvet. She slowly stood up and stretched her legs and her arms. She quickly made the bed again for the second time of the day and entered the living room. The brunette heard noise coming from the room filled with books. She made her way toward the office and stopped behind the half-opened door. The only thing she could see was Clarke's back. She could glimpse a part of the paper. Which wasn't blank anymore. Her lips turned softly into a smile as she observed the blonde sketching. Clarke was so concentrated she didn't heard when the floor squeaked. The brunette could see the sweat dripping from her forehead. Clarke wasn't really relaxing while drawing. It was more like a way to express her frustration. All those feelings she kept for herself for so long. She finally found the strength to pull it over her chest. Lexa gave her that strength. Clarke was actually enjoying the human interaction she had this last day. She was used to isolation. She spent more than a year in a cell up on the ark. This time it had been way more difficult. Because when she was on it, it wasn't like if they had any liberty. On the ground, it's not like they hadn't any rules, but, somehow Clarke felt free. Clarke had the opportunity to live experiences, positives or negative. She was finally living. All those experiences gave her taste of living. Which is precious and doesn't last enough. The blonde didn't realize she exceeded her sketch on the wall. Finally, the sky girl stepped back, analyzing her piece of art. She sighed and thrilled when she saw a shadow from the corner of her eye.

"Sorry, I did not mean to scare you." Lexa said as she took a step closer to Clarke. "You did something amazing. I did not know you drew so beautifully."

Clarke blushed at the compliment. "Thank you."

"What is this?" Lexa asked gesturing at the drawing.

"Earth," The sky princess answered simply. She leaned against the desk and observed the grounder doing the same. "Up on the Ark, it's the only thing I could see from my cell."

"A cell?" Lexa frowned in confusion. "Were you a prisoner Clarke?"

The blonde nodded. "When we were under eighteen and we broke the law, we were imprisoned. At the age of eighteen our case would be revised and we would be floated or freed." She explained.

"What law did you broke?"

"I overheard a conversation." Clarke confessed. "My father got floated because he wanted to advert the population. The administration got scared I'd speak."

Lexa put a hand on Clarke's shoulder. Locking her gaze with the girl. "I am sorry Clarke."

Clarke's eyes softened and she smiled at the grounder. Then, she leaned and pressed her lips slowly on the commander's cheek. "Thanks" She slowly whispered before quickly making her way out of the room. _What the hell did I just do?_ Clarke thought as she blushed like a tomato.


	6. Heart Rate

**Hey guys, sorry for the late update! Thanks again for all the follows, favorites and mostly reviews! Enjoy**

* * *

**Part 6**

Lexa was standing startled with her mouth half-opened staring at the ground. She didn't expect such a gesture from Clarke. What does it meant? Why did she do such a thing? The brunette couldn't find an answer. Her cheeks reddened as she held her hand to her right cheek and passed her fingers slowly where Clarke kissed her.

"Lexa?" A voice asked from behind the office door. "I brought you water." Clarke said as she entered the room. She took a few steps closer from Lexa and put the glass on the desk. While she walked toward the brunette, she held her gaze elsewhere as the grounder did the same. "I'm sor-"

"You do not need to apologize, Clarke," Lexa interrupted the blonde before looking at her. She moved her hand to take the drink and blushed even more when her hand brushed Clarke's. "You did nothing wrong." Lexa did her best to avoid showing how Clarke affected her.

Clarke got her gaze locked into Lexa's. She observed the girl swallowing water. "It will be night soon, do you want to go back to the battlefield?"

"I think it is better for us going tomorrow," Lexa began, "As the night is falling, it is more dangerous to go there. We are barely armed." The commander didn't want to admit she was still feeling weak and it made her feel unsafe. She was afraid she wouldn't be able to protect Clarke in case someone wanted to harm her.

Clarke simply nodded in response, "Do you want me to go find something to eat?"

"Biscuits are fine," The brunette said, "We may go hunt tomorrow."

Clarke's lips slowly curled into a smile. She knew Lexa was protecting her without admitting it. Back when they were preparing for war, the commander did the same. Back then she had an excuse, as Clarke was a leader, she needed to stay safe and alive. Now Lexa had none she could give to the sky girl. The only reason the grounder wouldn't allow the girl to risk her life was because she cared about her. _'I do care, Clarke,'_ the words suddenly appeared in the blonde's mind. She narrowed her eyes, suddenly feeling hurt as if a dagger just pushed itself into her chest.

"Clarke, are you okay?" Lexa asked preoccupied with the sky princess' expression.

"Yes, I'm just…hungry." She answered grinning idiotically.

The grounder chuckled and they made their way out of the office. They reached the small kitchen. Clarke opened a cupboard and took their usual dry biscuits and a jar of jam.

"I read people used to put this on their bred or biscuits," The blonde said as she handed the jam to Lexa. The brunette took it and analyzed the product. "I'm not going to poison you Lexa."

"I know Clarke, but what if this aliment is not eatable anymore?"

The sky girl took the jar from Lexa's hand and opened it. She took some of the food with a spoon before passing it on a biscuit. She brought it to her mouth before biting it. Lexa tried to reach Clarke's hand to stop her. It was the second time the blonde tasted something to see if it was poisoned. It wasn't safe. She took the rest of the biscuit from Clarke's hand and bit it.

"What are you doing?!" The blonde shouted.

"In case it is not eatable, you will not die alone," Lexa returned expressionless.

"I'm not going to die, I read this thing has so much sugar it could stay a hundred years without being uneatable." Clarke sighed before opening another cupboard and taking a glass. She filled it and drank the drink.

"This is good," Lexa reached to the jar and passed some more on her biscuit. "I had a question for you, Clarke,"

Clarke nodded telling the grounder to keep talking without actually speaking.

Lexa quickly entered their room before coming back to the table with a book in her hands. She opened it and turned the pages slowly before stopping and pointing something to Clarke.

"What does this word means?" The girl said as she quirked a brow. "It appears several times. I do not understand why it is so hard to have a _boyfriend_. It just has to be a boy and a friend right?" Lexa asked frowning. Clarke couldn't hold herself from laughing. She never thought the commander would read love stories.

"A boyfriend is a male friend with who you are romantically involved. It's a lover," Clarke explained. She observed a shy reaction from the grounder before standing. "Do you want to go to bed?" Clarke quickly felt her rate increase at her double-meaning sentence. Lexa was the one who chuckled this time. She smiled slightly and nodded.


	7. Feelings

**Part 7**

It was dark, hot and scary. Her breath was heavy. Her eyes were full of tears. Her heart was in pain. Her body was shivering. She was scared. She tried to keep her tears but couldn't. She was having difficulty to think. Those images kept passing themselves again and again in her head. All she could see was blood, bodies, and injuries. The worst, were their eyes. Those eyes that once looked at her with respect, compassion, kindness and were now looking at her in a guilty way.

"Lexa," She yelled her sheet wrapped tight around her. "Lexa!" She repeated with a croaky voice. "I need you…" She whispered this time.

The blonde put a hand on the brunette's shoulder and pressed it. The grounder opened her eyes as quickly as Clarke happened to have a dagger on her throat. It made the sky girl cry harder and louder. The commander pulled the weapon away before looking at the blonde.

"What happened?" Her voice was full of concern. Lexa pulled her blanket away and leaned her back against the wall, ready to listen to Clarke's explanation. "Are you alright?"

Clarke sitting on the edge of her mattress, waited until her respiration regulated herself. Of course, Lexa had been trained to react that way. It scared her. The girl brought her hand under her eyes and wiped her tears. "I… I'm sorry." She apologized, and stared at the ground.

"I did not want to scare you. It was not my intention." Lexa explained, seeing the girl wasn't looking confident, she got closer to her, sitting on the edge of her own bed. She managed to get Clarke's gaze and put a hand on one of the girl's knee. "You can speak to me, Clarke."

"I…had another nightmare." The sky princess admitted before looking elsewhere. "I'm scared."

"Fine, do you want to tell me about it?" How careful Lexa was surprised Clarke, it was… so different but so lovely to discover that side of the commander. The sky princess said no with the head, and hesitated for a moment before saying:

"I just want…a hug."

The warrior blushed but pulled Clarke into a tight hug. The blonde put her arms around the brunette's neck and every time she inhaled, her heart rate increased because of the girl's scent.

After some minutes, Clarke pulled away. Lexa stood and made her way to her mattress, which wasn't far, only two or three steps. She laid and watched Clarke staring at her.

"Have I done something wrong?" The commander asked worried.

"No…" Once again, Clarke looked somewhere else. The blonde didn't want to admit she actually wanted to stay close to Lexa. It was too soon to show Lexa her true feelings. Clarke didn't feel ready.

Lexa put a part of her blanket aside, and stretched out an arm. She took Clarke's wrist and pulled her into her bed this time. The sky girl closed her eyes and rested her forehead into the crook of the brunette's neck. Lexa didn't hesitate and put her hands on the girl's waist, making her come closer. She put one of her legs between Clarke's and felt the sky princess put her arms around her body.

* * *

When Clarke woke up, she was alone in Lexa's mattress. Although, she still could feel where Lexa laid, on her right, it still was warm. The blonde was too lazy to sit or to stretch. She closed her eyes again and sighed. It was time to get up. What time was it? She didn't even know. Clarke just lived with day and night. When it was night or when she would be tired she would go to sleep and she'll do whatever when she had strength to. If not, she would do nothing. Now, Lexa was here. She didn't realize how much she did since she found her. Her body did. It exhausted her physically.

The sky girl stood up sighing. She quickly changed clothes and made her way to the living room. Her eyes laid on a concentrated Lexa. The brunette was sitting on a couch with a book in her hands.

"You are up." The commander stated. She gazed Clarke smiling.

"I am."

"How are you?" The brunette stood and got closer to Clarke.

"Good. You?" The blonde responded.

"Fine."

Clarke took two biscuits on the table and looked at Lexa. "How do you feel about going hunting?"

"Good, do you want to look at my injuries before we go?"

Clarke nodded and checked Lexa's wounds. It was healing faster than she thought, also, faster than she wanted. Once she looked at Lexa's wound and changed the gazes, Clarke pushed herself to a sitting position as Lexa did.

"Is there something wrong?" The commander said worried. The blonde wasn't looking at her, she was, somehow, sad Lexa would be able to go back to her 'position'. Lexa wasn't an ordinary young woman. Clarke knew that. The brunette had duties to attend to.

"No, you're healing well." The sky girl answered, her gaze being caught by Lexa's.

"Then why are you making a face?"

"I'm not." Clarke lied. "It's just, will you be able to catch an animal? I'm not good at hunting."

"Are you questioning my skills, Clarke of the Sky People?" The brunette returned. Clarke chuckled and stood, she extended her hand to Lexa. The grounder took it and stood at her turn. Once Lexa was on her feet, Clarke let Lexa's hand and made her way to the scale.

"Let's go." The blonde said before pulling herself out of the underground shelter.


	8. Facing

**Part 8**

Clarke was amazed by Lexa's hunting skills. It had only been one hour since they where out there hunting that the grounder already had catch two rabbits and a doe. The way her arm launched the dagger was incredibly precise and sexy, plus, it always stroke at the exact spot where the animal would die without suffering much. Clarke was already carrying the rabbits but now that the commander had killed this hind, it would be difficult to carry it back because of Lexa's injuries. Clarke knew if she told her that she wouldn't be able to carry it alone, Lexa would insist to help her. And it could open the brunette's injuries.

"What about we eat the hind?" Clarke suggested as she put the two rabbits on the ground. Then, she leaned against a tree.

"Here? Now?" The brunette returned, quirking a brow. She put her dagger into it sheath attached at her right thigh. Seeing the sky girl exhausted, she crouched down by her side. "If you want, I can help you carrying it." She added gesturing at the animal.

"No, I'm just in need of meat." The sky princess said grinning. Lexa let out a laugh and smiled back at her. "And I'm tired."

Lexa nodded and stood back. She approached the hind, kneeled down and looked at Clarke. "Are you sure you want to see me doing this?" She asked referring at her future actions.

"Um…I think I'm going to get some wood."

The brunette smirked before nodding while Clarke stood up and started gathering wood.

After some time, Lexa had finished preparing the beast. The commander went to call Clarke, who happened to have collected a lot of wood. They were now waiting the food to cook itself.

"How long since you have not eaten meat, Clarke?" The brunette said, breaking the silence, looking at her piece of meat.

The sky girl twirled her food before gazing the brunette. "Since Mount Weather." She simply answered.

Lexa suddenly got irritated. She didn't want to bring this topic back. She didn't want to see the blonde hurt anymore. She gave a hurt look at Clarke and brought her piece of meat to her mouth.

"There someone coming!" The brunette said with widened eyes. She quickly stood up and stepped on the fire, shutting it. "Come!" Lexa yelled at Clarke. They quickly moved behind bushes and trees, letting the animals they killed near the fire.

"Um…Lexa…" The blonde whispered. As the girl spoke, her mouth brushed the brunette's ear, which made Lexa shiver and let out a light moan. Clarke blushed even more. She was already startled by her current position with the grounder. Hearing such a sound slip out from the commander's mouth made things even more awkward.

Clarke's back was currently against a tree. Until there, everything was fine. Lexa was actually, straddling Clarke. Their bodies were so close that if one of them moved they wouldn't be able to come any closer. Their faces were only inches away. Lexa's hands were resting on the blonde's waist while the sky girl's were on the other girl's hips.

The sky commander quickly removed her hands from where they were. She was so embarrassed that she didn't see the sky look Lexa was giving her. When she finally made eye contact, the tension got bigger. And grew bigger when the steps they were hearing got closer.

Quickly, Clarke replayed the scene. Hearing numerous steps, Lexa took the blonde by her hands and pushed her against a tree. The sky girl sat and Lexa saw a shadow so she sat. On Clarke.

"What…what do we do?" Clarke asked as slowly as possible, turning her head so she wouldn't say it right into Lexa's ears again.

"We don't make any movement or sound." She responded quickly.

"What is coming?" Clarke could see the tension on the commander's face. Lexa put her hand on her dagger, and moved her arm in a position that she could strike easily if she needed to. "Lexa?"

"Clarke, we must remain quiet."

"I know, I know, but what if they see us?"

"They wont if you stop talking." Lexa replied harshly.

"How will we know when they are here?" The blonde whispered, a preoccupied look on her face. "What if they ar-"

Lexa leaned and pressed her lips against Clarke's. Finally shutting the sky girl. Clarke was startled for a brief moment. The commander, seeing that the other girl wasn't returning the kiss pulled back. Her green eyes right into Clarke's. The blonde let out a shaky breath and brought her hand up. She cupped Lexa's cheek and this time, she was the one who started the connection. The sky princess brought her other arm behind the brunette's back and brought her more than she already was against her body. It was slow and cautious. It was like if they were in no rush and they had their whole day in front of them.

They both pulled back when they heard a man's voice.

"Someone was here." He had a grave voice. Clarke tried to sneak to look who it was but couldn't. Lexa was to close to her. The blonde pinched the girl on top of her and gestured toward the talking man with her head, telling her to try to see whom it was without actually speaking.

"Still no signs of Heda?" A familiar voice said. When this person spoke, Lexa's eyes widened and she stood. "Show yourself!" The woman said with an angry voice at the sound the commander just made.

Lexa walked toward the group of people. "Indra," She stated.

The warrior nodded respectfully before putting her sword back to its sheath. "Heda, what hap-" The woman stopped talking when she saw a blonde behind her commander. She immediately took her weapon and stepped closer to the sky girl, ready to slaughter her throat. "I understand now. The Sky people did this." She accused, referring to the butchery that took place a few steps from here. "You will now face death, Sky Princess."


End file.
